Create the Life You Crave Eliminates Undesirable Cravings

reflectionsYou just knew it…

​You were ready for a change, an interesting adventure, a move, helping someone, a new job or study. Then it happened – you found yourself caught up in a mental trap of fearful thinking. Thoughts about what you were doing, should do, already did or about others, took over your life.  You became obsessed with thoughts that held you back from change.

Before you know it you are craving an activity or substance, food, drink or drug to help you deal with undesirable thoughts. so now you have yourself second guessing life with what-if’s or analyzing why something happened and giving in to an unhealthy craving. Both are ways the mind uses to prevent or procrastinate.

We are sabotaged now, arguing with ourselves. It’s good to be prepared or understand why something went wrong, a drink or cookie would help now…Face it – most of our thoughts are either based in ancient history or are ancient history – they just aren’t relevant or helpful any longer.

You can end the self sabotage anytime now… If you are ready to let go of the past – really  – you can do it. 

First, Remember to be Gentle with Yourself.

It’s easy to find your mind stuck like a broken record on an old track, repeating the same song over and over. It’s what the mind is hard wired to do. Like an automatic temperature control in your car or home. Take a moment to adjust your attention, like changing the temperature on a thermostat, this can take a few attempts to hold. Be patient with yourself as you make changes.

When you find yourself over analyzing or consumed with irrelevant or trivial information such as tiny unimportant details, holding you back, be kind to yourself. This can happen on occasion. Take a breath and allow insights to replace the distracting thoughts. Then get on with it.

And if your worst fears come true, recognize it, let it go and begin anew. Breathe. You can end the cycle.

Life is an Art and You are an Artist

Creative expression is the hearts language and in this way your life experience is much like a blank canvas, empty screen or book. We use thoughts as our materials to write, paint, sing, cook or film it. Just like any artist, sometimes the result is brilliant and sometimes not so much. We may create a muddy mess as we experiment, but as long as it is interesting, fun and playful, we are learning how to live better. It’s all valuable learning experiences and part of a life well lived – a life we create.

Creating the Life you Crave Eliminates Undesirable Cravings 

Paying attention to our thoughts and surroundings keeps us from living automatically. Life is fresh and new – not the reruns we’ve seen too many times before. This is not a reality TV Show. You cannot vote anyone off, so keep focused on the present to create situations you want in your life. Remember how things really work – your focus is your tool for creating the life you crave and ridding yourself of cravings that do not serve you.

One Thing at a Time

Often when we function automatically, we can take on more and more unnecessary activities, things or people in our lives. Not only do we become overwhelmed, we concentrate on small stuff – tiny details bog us down. When this happens, health suffers and you can relapse or begin to drink or take drugs to sleep or function.

All most of us want are love, laughter and peace. You can have that and also pleasure, enjoyment, fun, abundance, and improved health, too. Take action to create the life you crave and you will naturally eliminate cravings that don’t support your life.

Contact me today to learn how to create a life you crave and eliminate cravings that don’t support your life. ​

 

Denise@denisedemaras.com

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spring 1By Dana Micheli

Why am I here? It is one of the oldest questions in humankind.  We know that we have something to offer the world, but we are often unsure of what it is or how we can use it to benefit ourselves and the world.  For some of us, this pursuit of purpose is a conscious force in our lives; for others, it may be on a cellular level, but the desire is within all of us.

Finding meaning in our work often remains elusive, perhaps because so many of us still believe that our “purpose” and our means of earning a living are mutually exclusive.  We forget that giving also involves receiving to be complete. This is true especially for healing and spiritual people: they may have found their calling as healers, mentors or coaches, but have a deeply ingrained belief that this should be a free humane service.

When in a spiritual or healing profession, we can struggle with whether it is right or wrong to charge or take money for services. Our identities and esteem suffer as we spend our energy and hours helping others for free. We question our worth and finally we give it up just to do the work we love – helping others heal. But until we ask and answer the questions “who needs me and why me”, we will continue to live in poverty.

When you are aware that you are helping others – take time to look closely at the issues and the people you choose to help. Connecting the common denominators is key to finding who you are, what you need, your purpose and your path to prosperity. If the common denominators are non-existent or few, and your life is filled with energy draining people that never improve – you are clearly off the mark.

A life that expands your heart and your prosperity is connected with your purpose. Your passion will spark and ignite a healing flame in others too. This is how all things in life grow – the natural state of the Life is abundance. It is everywhere we look—in nature, in the grocery store we visit—so much so that we often take it for granted.

So, why not take it for granted that we could achieve abundance in pursuing meaningful work?   Why not use our gifts and be rewarded for the giving? The answer here is simple – there is no reason to stop you other than your own self LIMITING BELIEFS. As I’ve written before, it takes mindfulness to recognize and stop negative thinking. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can stop them by question them and turning them around to be positive and true.  A shift in thinking frees you to align your life (and work) with your passion. When you do this, prosperity is sure to follow.

 

“You know, it is good to hide your brilliance under a bushel, to be anonymous, to love what you are doing and not to show off. It is good to be kind without a name. That does not make you famous; it does not cause your photograph to appear in the newspapers. Politicians do not come to your door. You are just a creative human being living anonymously, and in that there is richness and great beauty.”
– Jiddu  Krishnamurti

 

We are all on the Path to Recovery

SunflowerRecovery with the Buddha’s Teachings

Recently I read that the Buddha was in recovery, and his teachings were his findings on how he reached enlightenment or full recovery – recovery of his true self. We are all on a path to recovery, and sometimes we get distracted by a habit or substance.

How does this happen? When something triggers fear in our minds – we fall into patterns of behavior we believe will ‘protect’ us from pain or find pleasure. It’s human to not want and to avoid pain. Though it is inevitable to experience pain – this avoidance through negative self – destructive life restricting habits increase – not take away our pain.

When we take action to avoid pain, we not only delay it, we increase  it with our (chosen) addictive and self-destructive behaviors. These actions are unconscious until we make the choice to follow or learn what caused the impulse to avoid pain. The action we choose to avoid pain (find pleasure or relief) can be often during our daily activities or relating with others or can occur at big event times in our lives. These are referred to as ‘triggers’.

Recognizing our triggers is key to beginning the journey to recovery.

Chances are that you are reading this post because you know there is something – a behavior – that is hurting you more than it is helping you. It is restricting your life. Maybe it is hurting others you care about more than you (want to) believe it is hurting you. But you must use it – the way or the substance to feel better. Regardless of if you are fully aware of the behavior and its triggers or not – you can come to grips – face to face with it and find help from the Buddha’s findings to recover – your true self.

When you find yourself reaching for a self-destructive substance or lost in analyzing something that is fueling negative emotions:

try this:

  • Take a deep breath, hold for a moment, release very slowly. Repeat three times.
  • Wherever you are, soften your focus and look at one small natural thing ( a tree or a leaf – through a window or screen, or outdoors)
  • Slowly expand your vision to include all that is surrounding your field of vision.
  • Breathe and allow your lips to curl into a soft smile.

You will notice that the thought to ‘use’ has passed – if you allowed it to. If you find yourself arguing, defending or analyzing a thought to do self-harm, internally or with others, you are caught up in the trigger and face losing your way. Step out-of-the-way with the breath and let the thought disappear. There is no  need to debate, discuss or defend the behavior or refusal to be tempted. Let – it – go.

Breaking a Habit For Good

SONY DSCBreaking an unhealthy or negative habit is part of being or becoming conscious of our selves. We recognize whatever is doing us harm as well as what is helping us. Ending any relationship  can be – usually is – challenging.  Our minds cling to what we know and believe to be part of us. So when we ‘discover’ something we consume or do as not good for us,the thought about doing it or not doing it can be at the front or the back of our minds – constantly.

Since these  self-destructive habits are tied into our connection with others or have become an part of our daily lives, letting them go (or holding onto them) can become an obsession.  Inside our minds a conversation ensues both supporting quitting and continuing the habit simultaneously. It’s necessary to call order into the conversation or we continue our bad habit or relapse eventually.

It’s hard to break a habit. But remembering that the moment’s pleasure always brings hours of pain, is part of the process. I know this even though there has been an active interest in health and wellness all of my life. Bad habits and relationships slipped into and controlled times in my life, too. The road to recovery is  with changes and challenges for everyone.

Fortunately for me, I had the creative process to guide me back to clarity and heart.  It was the mindful practice that called order in my mind.  There is a mindfulness method for all of us. The most accessible one is breath.

 

Try this to begin:

  • Slow down – sit if you can – when you hear chatter in your mind about the ‘habit’
  • Take a deep breath and hold it for a moment before you release it.
  • Release your breath slowly
  • Repeat until the thoughts are quiet and slower.
  • Move towards and with the thoughts that support your goals and dreams
  • Find support. Go to a friend, journal, paint brush, guitar, piano, trail head, counselor, coach or meeting.

This process can show you how to live with awareness and find your way on the endless path to peace. Find then and there in each moment a new beginning. This is a path where there are no mistakes, each moment is perfect and filled with possibility for you to recognize. Nothing to stress over or regret. When you let go of anticipation and worry, the need for destructive distractions disappears. It just takes attention – yours to live peacefully, positively and perfectly.

 

Lose that Belly Now

MeditationOnly the Buddha or Santa need a big belly – the rest of us want a flat, firm stomach. But it is not so easy to have and keep for this reason – not one workout or diet is right for everyone.  This is due to the differences in our body and belly types.

There are 5 types of bellies and different approaches work for each type. Find your tummy type and the plan to have a flat stomach this summer in this quick guide.  http://wp.me/P2QpFI-16T