Be the One True Magnificent You

through the mist you feel; something here is not real

Painting and Poem ~ Denise Demaras

Live Your Truth

Through the mist you can feel

Something here is just not real.

Meditate to know how you feel –

Understanding this is the deal.

To feel love and joy in what you do

And from the ones all around you

Question feelings that are sad or blue

Look within – the answer’s inside of you.

If things are not what they used to be

Let them go and be free.

Allow life do what it likes to do –

Flow and go all through you.

Be the one and only true –

Wonderful magnificent you!

Breathe and Step Back to See the Whole Picture Before You Make a Change

“The devil is in the details” and so is God. But if we get stuck on the smallest Oak Creekdetails without seeing the whole picture, we can lose the picture. The only way to see the details for what they are and keep the picture – is to breathe and step back time and again.

As a painter and truth seeker, I know you have to step back to get a good perspective of the painting or situation. Focusing on one detail or many small details, can ruin a painting,  a moment or a belief getting you lost and confused or sad and disconnected.

In the case of a painting, focusing on a perfect leaf without bringing the tree  into perspective can distort it. The same holds true when you are contemplating a change in your life.How will the change alter all the parts of your life?

Take time out this summer solstice (June 21) to stand still with the sun and look at your life.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself if:

  • Each part fits together
  • It’s balanced
  • Something is missing
  • A part needs updating or eliminating

Sometimes all we need to do is step back to get a fresh new look at what we have created to see where it – our life- is headed.  You might just find a new appreciation for  the beauty or significance of each part of your life.Or you might see where a tweak here and there will get you on course.

As in the sky with the sparkling stars,  some parts of our lives stand out more than others but they need the blank contrast of darkness to shine.When I feel the darkness more than the light, I’m sometimes tempted to toss the canvas and begin a new. I’ve leaned the hard way that it’s best to step back and look at it – another day before I let it go. Summer is upon us – use this time to step back and see the picture you’ve created – that is your life.

It may be uncomfortable at first, as the mind whispers “not yet” or “never mind” or “not again” or “I don’t want to” but do it – step back – before you let it go or lose it. Often this is the step you need to love what you are creating or create what you love.  You can find answers, solutions or insights to whatever is off-balance in your life (or painting) when you breathe and step back.

Creating the Life You Crave Eliminates Unwanted Cravings

reflectionsYou just knew it…

​You were ready for a change, an interesting adventure, a move, helping someone, a new job or study… then it happened. Fear – you fell into the mental trap of negativity – doubt and pessimism took over your mind and life. Thoughts about what you were doing, should do, already did or about others, replaced the brilliant spark of invention and creativity.  You became obsessed with thoughts that held you back from making a change.

Before you know it you are craving an activity or substance, food, drink or drug to help you deal with undesirable thoughts. so now you have yourself second guessing life with what-if’s or analyzing why something happened and giving in to an unhealthy craving. Both are ways the mind uses to prevent or procrastinate.

We are sabotaged now, arguing with ourselves. It’s good to be prepared or understand why something went wrong, a drink or cookie would help now…Face it – most of our thoughts are either based in ancient history or are ancient history – they just aren’t relevant or helpful any longer.

You can end the self sabotage anytime now… If you are ready to let go of the past – really  – you can do it. 

First, Remember to be Gentle with Yourself.

It’s easy to find your mind stuck like a broken record on an old track, repeating the same song over and over. It’s what the mind is hard wired to do. Like an automatic temperature control in your car or home. Take a moment to adjust your attention, like changing the temperature on a thermostat, this can take a few attempts to hold. Be patient with yourself as you make changes.

When you find yourself over analyzing or consumed with irrelevant or trivial information such as tiny unimportant details, holding you back, be kind to yourself. This can happen on occasion. Take a breath and allow insights to replace the distracting thoughts. Then get on with it.

And if your worst fears come true, recognize it, let it go and begin anew. Breathe. You can end the cycle.

Life is an Art and You are an Artist

Creative expression is the hearts language and in this way your life experience is much like a blank canvas, empty screen or book. We use thoughts as our materials to write, paint, sing, cook or film it. Just like any artist, sometimes the result is brilliant and sometimes not so much. We may create a muddy mess as we experiment, but as long as it is interesting, fun and playful, we are learning how to live better. It’s all valuable learning experiences and part of a life well lived – a life we create.

Creating the Life you Crave Eliminates Undesirable Cravings 

Paying attention to our thoughts and surroundings keeps us from living automatically. Life is fresh and new – not the reruns we’ve seen too many times before. This is not a reality TV Show. You cannot vote anyone off, so keep focused on the present to create situations you want in your life. Remember how things really work – your focus is your tool for creating the life you crave and ridding yourself of cravings that do not serve you.

One Thing at a Time

Often when we function automatically, we can take on more and more unnecessary activities, things or people in our lives. Not only do we become overwhelmed, we concentrate on small stuff – tiny details bog us down. When this happens, health suffers and you can relapse or begin to drink or take drugs to sleep or function.

All most of us want are love, laughter and peace. You can have that and also pleasure, enjoyment, fun, abundance, and improved health, too. Take action to create the life you crave and you will naturally eliminate cravings that don’t support your life.

Contact me today to learn how to create a life you crave and eliminate cravings that don’t support your life. ​

 

Denise@denisedemaras.com

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spring 1By Dana Micheli

Why am I here? It is one of the oldest questions in humankind.  We know that we have something to offer the world, but we are often unsure of what it is or how we can use it to benefit ourselves and the world.  For some of us, this pursuit of purpose is a conscious force in our lives; for others, it may be on a cellular level, but the desire is within all of us.

Finding meaning in our work often remains elusive, perhaps because so many of us still believe that our “purpose” and our means of earning a living are mutually exclusive.  We forget that giving also involves receiving to be complete. This is true especially for healing and spiritual people: they may have found their calling as healers, mentors or coaches, but have a deeply ingrained belief that this should be a free humane service.

When in a spiritual or healing profession, we can struggle with whether it is right or wrong to charge or take money for services. Our identities and esteem suffer as we spend our energy and hours helping others for free. We question our worth and finally we give it up just to do the work we love – helping others heal. But until we ask and answer the questions “who needs me and why me”, we will continue to live in poverty.

When you are aware that you are helping others – take time to look closely at the issues and the people you choose to help. Connecting the common denominators is key to finding who you are, what you need, your purpose and your path to prosperity. If the common denominators are non-existent or few, and your life is filled with energy draining people that never improve – you are clearly off the mark.

A life that expands your heart and your prosperity is connected with your purpose. Your passion will spark and ignite a healing flame in others too. This is how all things in life grow – the natural state of the Life is abundance. It is everywhere we look—in nature, in the grocery store we visit—so much so that we often take it for granted.

So, why not take it for granted that we could achieve abundance in pursuing meaningful work?   Why not use our gifts and be rewarded for the giving? The answer here is simple – there is no reason to stop you other than your own self LIMITING BELIEFS. As I’ve written before, it takes mindfulness to recognize and stop negative thinking. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can stop them by question them and turning them around to be positive and true.  A shift in thinking frees you to align your life (and work) with your passion. When you do this, prosperity is sure to follow.

 

“You know, it is good to hide your brilliance under a bushel, to be anonymous, to love what you are doing and not to show off. It is good to be kind without a name. That does not make you famous; it does not cause your photograph to appear in the newspapers. Politicians do not come to your door. You are just a creative human being living anonymously, and in that there is richness and great beauty.”
– Jiddu  Krishnamurti

 

We are all on the Path to Recovery

SunflowerRecovery with the Buddha’s Teachings

Recently I read that the Buddha was in recovery, and his teachings were his findings on how he reached enlightenment or full recovery – recovery of his true self. We are all on a path to recovery, and sometimes we get distracted by a habit or substance.

How does this happen? When something triggers fear in our minds – we fall into patterns of behavior we believe will ‘protect’ us from pain or find pleasure. It’s human to not want and to avoid pain. Though it is inevitable to experience pain – this avoidance through negative self – destructive life restricting habits increase – not take away our pain.

When we take action to avoid pain, we not only delay it, we increase  it with our (chosen) addictive and self-destructive behaviors. These actions are unconscious until we make the choice to follow or learn what caused the impulse to avoid pain. The action we choose to avoid pain (find pleasure or relief) can be often during our daily activities or relating with others or can occur at big event times in our lives. These are referred to as ‘triggers’.

Recognizing our triggers is key to beginning the journey to recovery.

Chances are that you are reading this post because you know there is something – a behavior – that is hurting you more than it is helping you. It is restricting your life. Maybe it is hurting others you care about more than you (want to) believe it is hurting you. But you must use it – the way or the substance to feel better. Regardless of if you are fully aware of the behavior and its triggers or not – you can come to grips – face to face with it and find help from the Buddha’s findings to recover – your true self.

When you find yourself reaching for a self-destructive substance or lost in analyzing something that is fueling negative emotions:

try this:

  • Take a deep breath, hold for a moment, release very slowly. Repeat three times.
  • Wherever you are, soften your focus and look at one small natural thing ( a tree or a leaf – through a window or screen, or outdoors)
  • Slowly expand your vision to include all that is surrounding your field of vision.
  • Breathe and allow your lips to curl into a soft smile.

You will notice that the thought to ‘use’ has passed – if you allowed it to. If you find yourself arguing, defending or analyzing a thought to do self-harm, internally or with others, you are caught up in the trigger and face losing your way. Step out-of-the-way with the breath and let the thought disappear. There is no  need to debate, discuss or defend the behavior or refusal to be tempted. Let – it – go.